Alannah's most recent therapist made the observation that Alannah and I were "rather dramatic". I felt a little ruffled by the label.... although.... she has a point. (?!?!?!?!)
Speaking of drama--the happy drama is that I am now full force into directing Play II. THAT is fun drama--the kids are getting into it, my artistic team is starting to get things together. I am teaching A LOT no thanks to the flu raging through the last of the substitute teachers that haven't flown off to Florida for the winter! (First year I got a flu shot--guess that was a good move) Most of us are happy (resignedly) to be back to work and school following a more or less wonderful holiday break.
The best part was having Susie and Dan here for a week. Mom and Dad were the heros and brought them up and stayed with us since we couldn't leave Alannah's hospital program for our original plans to visit Pittsburgh. We ice skated, fished, sledded, watched movies and...ATE.
A LOT. But all of you who know us are not surprised! We had one wonderful amazing day when we got to have all of the kids together along with Scott's girls.
Oh yeah.... SCOTT AND I GOT ENGAGED!!!!! That was mom's Christmas present as much as it was mine. We will get married sometime this Spring. Maybe. Hopefully. I think?! HAHAHA.
The unhappy drama is Alannah. I haven't written very much about her on this blog, mostly because she ends up being the center of things so much as it is. The blog was kind of a sanctuary for the normal part of our family to exist. A gentle edit for the sake of Scott, Aidan, Susie and Dan, Angela and Kennedi. We are a joyful, God centered family--I don't want to lose that focus on what is really important in the big picture.
Having a child with a mental illness is tough. Medications help. Intervention from good people and services help. We read all the books, we take her to all of the specialists. We put her in a great school. We go to family therapy, group therapy, church. However, the illness takes over periodically and hits like a tsunami, and she chooses to just ride the wave right over all of us. There are no drugs, people, services or magic wands that make it stop, go away or get better. We flounder, sputter, grasp...what else is there to do? No one has better options for us at the moment.
She has had a rough year to say the least. Two hospitalizations toward the beginning of 2010 got her back into regular therapy, then another ER trip began special in-house treatment twice a week with a team of specialists. THAT didn't work so she was back in the hospital earlier in December. That landed her in a partial hospital program for ten days over the holiday break. Now she is in a 3 day a week intensive treatment program. She goes half-days to school now, and half-days at the hospital M-W-F. Adolescent psychiatric services in our area have been pretty decent. Anyone who has ever had any experience with this particular service system will attest that it is abysmal at best, so we are feeling pretty fortunate for what help we are able to get. We also only have to travel about 15 minutes--a huge difference from the 2 hours it used to be in NY.
Of course, while we are working hard to follow the instructions of the 10+ professionals working on Alannah, the success is really up to her. This is where things get depressing. She is still stuck on feeling that everyone ELSE is wrong, and not her. It is like living with a giant 2 year old. In "Honey I Shrunk the Kids" this was cute--this is NOT cute. If she can't/won't change--we have some scary decisions to make. Not a pleasant place to be as parents.
However--we cling to what we are sure of: Extraordinary things happen to extraordinary people. (thank you, wonderful quote from the most recent Narnia movie!) She is a creation of God, as is her illness. Somewhere in all of this are clues for each of us as to what our greater purpose is; how we will use these gifts to honor and praise God. I don't always feel that way. I fight my own inner rage and frustration. I need to take breaks from her periodically in order to keep myself strong and healthy--like writing on here!
THANK YOU to all of you who pray for us and her. While you are at it, pray for all parents and families who are blessed with mentally ill adolescents. Pray for better medications, better care systems, better health care options--too many insurance companies don't cover enough. Count your blessings for all the healthy children you have or know!
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